Feel weird about networking?
You’re not alone. A lot of people do.
Maybe you hate sounding fake.
Maybe you feel awkward starting a conversation.
Maybe it just feels like a game you don’t want to play.
If that’s you—good news. You don’t have to play that game at all.
So, how to network without being fake? Be curious, speak plainly, offer value, and follow up—without pretending to be someone you’re not. That’s it. That’s the real way to build trust.
You don’t need to act super confident.
You don’t need to hand out 100 business cards.
And you definitely don’t need to talk like a sales robot.
7 Ways to Network Without Being Fake
Let’s break it down. Here are 7 ways to network without faking it, forcing it, or freezing up.
1. Focus on Learning, Not Selling
Let’s be honest.
Most people go into networking thinking, “What can I get out of this?”
That mindset kills the connection.
Instead, flip the script.
Go into every conversation thinking, “What can I learn here?”
Ask real questions. Be curious. Try something like:
- “How did you get started in your field?”
- “What’s been the hardest part of your journey?”
- “What do you love most about what you do?”
Now you’re having a real talk.
And people notice that. They remember it.
Because when someone feels heard, they feel respected.
And when they feel respected, they trust you.
Pro tip: Write down the interesting things you learn after each chat.
Use that for future follow-ups. It makes people feel remembered.
2. Be Honest About Where You Are
Here’s a myth:
You have to act like you’ve got it all figured out.
Nope. Not true. And it’s not helpful either.
It’s okay to say:
- “I’m still learning.”
- “I’m just getting started.”
- “I’m figuring things out right now.”
People respect honesty.
It shows confidence when you admit what you don’t know.
And guess what? Most people want to help if they can.
Why this matters:
Fake confidence creates distance.
Real honesty builds closeness.
Try this next time:
Instead of saying “I’m a professional in X,” say, “I’m just diving into X and trying to learn more. What’s your take on it?”
That opens up the conversation in a real way.
3. Say What You Do in a Clear, Simple Way
You know that moment…
Someone asks, “What do you do?” And you freeze or ramble?
Don’t overthink it. Just keep it plain and clear.
Skip the fancy title. Avoid industry words.
Use regular, everyday language.
For example:
Instead of saying:
“I’m a digital transformation consultant in the B2B SaaS space.”
Say:
“I help small business teams use tech tools so they save time and stress less.”
See the difference?
It’s friendly. It’s easy to picture. It sticks.
The goal here:
Say what you do so a teenager could understand it.
If they can get it, anyone can.
Pro tip: Practice this line a few times out loud. Make it natural. Then you won’t freeze when someone asks.
4. Offer Help First
Here’s a truth bomb:
Most people network only when they need something.
That’s the wrong move.
You’ll build stronger relationships if you offer value before you ever ask for anything.
Try this:
- Share a blog post or video that could help them
- Recommend a tool or event you love
- Introduce them to someone useful
- Give quick advice if they ask for it
Even small things count. It tells them, “I’m here to help, not just take.”
Why this works:
People want to connect with helpful people.
Giving first builds goodwill—and trust.
Tip: Keep a simple list of useful articles, books, or tools. That way, you can share them when the moment comes.
5. Let Relationships Grow Naturally
Slow down.
Real relationships take time.
Don’t push. Don’t force it. Just stay in touch.
After the first chat, send a short follow-up:
- “It was great talking to you today. I really liked your story about X.”
- “Here’s that book I mentioned—I think you’ll enjoy it.”
Then, keep the relationship warm:
- Comment on their posts
- Share something they’d like
- Ask a quick question every few months
This is key:
You don’t need to be clever or impressive.
You just need to be consistent.
Pro tip: Set a simple reminder to reconnect every 2–3 months. That habit builds a real network over time.
6. Stay Present, Not Polished
Want to know what people really notice?
Your focus.
Not your resume. Not your elevator pitch.
Your attention.
So stay in the moment:
- Look at them—not your phone.
- Listen more than you talk.
- Ask thoughtful questions.
People rarely get full attention these days.
When you give it, it feels powerful.
You don’t need perfect words.
You just need to make them feel seen.
Try this: Before your next networking event, take a deep breath and remind yourself: “My job is just to listen and be real.” That’s enough.
7. Pick Better Rooms
What if the problem isn’t you?
What if it’s the room you’re in?
Not every networking event is worth your time.
If you always feel out of place, maybe you’re in the wrong space.
Here’s what to look for instead:
- Smaller meetups where people talk, not pitch
- Online groups built around real conversations
- Niche communities based on shared values
- Coworking or skill-building events where people collaborate
In better rooms, better connections happen.
And when the room feels real, it’s easier for you to be real too.
Pro tip: Try 2 or 3 different types of events. See where the conversation feels the easiest. Start there.
Final Thoughts: Real Networking Doesn’t Feel Forced
So, you can network without being fake by leading with curiosity, speaking like yourself, offering genuine help, and staying in touch—no acting, no pressure.
If networking feels fake, you’re probably doing it the way everyone else is.
That’s the problem.
But you don’t need a perfect pitch.
You don’t need to sell yourself.
You just need to be real, stay present, and care about the person in front of you.
That’s how trust starts.
That’s how real relationships grow.
And that’s how you build a strong network—without ever pretending.
